Practicing Direct Communication

by Seth Sinclair

Direct communication is a skill all good coaches must acquire and use.  Unfortunately, it’s also a skill that’s difficult to define.  According to the International Coaching Federation, direct communication is “the ability to communicate effectively during coaching sessions, and to use language that has the greatest positive impact.”

There are many ways to practice direct communication. In our posts on coaching presence, powerful questions, and developing trust, we’ve discussed some of them.  At the most basic levels, practicing direct communication means speaking plainly, confidently, and honestly. 

However, at the levels where it is most impactful in coaching, direct communication is about reframing and using metaphors to create new perspective for the client.  Finally, it can simply mean being clear when giving instructions or asking the coachee to take action. 

A coach should be able to speak plainly to a coachee, in a way others may avoid-and a coach/coachee relationship should develop into one that allows this level of communication all of the time.  This type of communication should be “clear, articulate, and direct” but also appropriate and respectful. 

In the example of a coach debriefing a coachee on difficult feedback received from a 360-degree assessment, the coach might say, “your colleagues are not responding to your communication style.”  This approach requires confidence and a strong presence, but is more in service of the client than avoiding or minimizing the feedback.  A coach can foster this level of communication by setting expectations early in the relationship and checking-in regularly to assess the client’s comfort level. 

Reframing, or looking at a problem or situation from a different perspective, is a simple but essential technique used to generate new ideas and encourage creative thinking.  This is especially useful when a client is “stuck” with a problem and feels he or she has exhausted all of his or her options. 

For example, a coach might ask “What opportunities might someone else see in this?” or “If you could re-write the rules, how might this unfold?” or “What is one small step you might take?”  Even if the client isn’t able to immediately solve the problem, reframing may assist them in managing or accepting the problem and reducing its emotional impact. 

The use of metaphors and analogies offer another method to increase insight and understanding.  The right metaphor can bring home a critical point and add perspective.  For example, a leader might compare his or her leadership style to the role of a military general.  Through additional questioning and exploration of the metaphor as it applies to current leadership challenges, the leader realizes that some aspects of this style may not be effective.  When asked to further contrast this style with the metaphor of leading as a conductor of an orchestra, the client may identify new behaviors to consider and test.

Direct communication, along with powerful questioning and active listening, are the main tools of an effective coach.  Skillful use of these techniques will maximize the value and positive impact of the coaching relationship for the client.