Thursday, December 26, 2013

Defining Coaching Presence

by Seth Sinclair


Coaching presence is a very important tool, perhaps the most important tool, in a successful coach’s arsenal.  The International Coach Federation (ICF) describes presence as the “ability to be fully conscious and create spontaneous relationships with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, and confident.”

Great coaches all have great presence, but what does that really mean?  I like the brief definition on Mike the Mentor’s blog.  He defines presence as the ability to be with someone in such a way that the person comes to know himself or herself better. A coach who is present in a meeting with a client, whether in person or on the phone, has put aside his or her own problems and issues and is giving the client his or her full attention.

Coaches with presence listen intently and effectively.  They concentrate on the speaker’s words, watch for body language to help them interpret those words, keep their thoughts from wandering by mentally paraphrasing what the speaker is saying, establish and maintain a pattern of eye contact, and ask questions summarizing what they have heard.

They are real and caring, listening to what the client says without forming opinions of their own; are genuine and authentic in their responses and actions; and have a passion for learning about and understanding the ideas and thoughts of others.

They stay grounded during difficult conversations.  A coach with a strong presence will not be knocked off balance when emotional or challenging topics arise during a coaching session.

They want to be doing what they are doing.  They enjoy closely observing the lives of others and helping them see their actions from a different point of view; offering alternative choices for future actions and behaviors; and helping their clients reach their goals, whatever they are.

And they believe in themselves.  They’ve had enough training to know that they have the right tools to take advantage of teaching situations that come up—and that when the moment is right, they will use those tools to best advantage.

When clients work with coaches with great presence, they grow to believe their coach is fully committed to them and their issues.  As a result, they open themselves more fully to the coaching process, to learning more about themselves, and to the possibilities of change.  We wrote in a previous post that the major reason a relationship fails is the absence of trust: great presence is a sure way to build and maintain trust between a coach and a client.

Some people believe presence is an inherited skill, and that it cannot be taught.  I believe otherwise.  Coaches, like anyone else, can learn to become better listeners.  They can learn to focus better.  And they can, and should, be observed by other professional coaches on a regular basis.  These observations should include an evaluation of how “in the moment” a coach is, how confident the coach is, and how effective he or she is in choosing the right strategy when the opportunity arises.

Whether coaching is done face-to-face, on the phone, or even via email, one thing is absolutely clear: for coaches to help clients grow and change, a strong presence is indispensible.



Tuesday, December 10, 2013

The Importance of Trust in Coaching

by Seth Sinclair


According to The Executive Coaching Forum (TECF), the most common reason a coaching engagement fails is the breakdown of trust.  Trust between a coach and a client is highly correlated to ethics, especially around the issue of confidentiality.

In nearly all coaching relationships, a coach is the recipient of important personal or sensitive professional information about a client.  Sometimes, that information might be damaging if it falls into the wrong hands.  Those being coached must trust that any personal information coaches are given access to will be kept safe and secure, and will not be discussed with any unauthorized parties.  In our blog on establishing the coaching agreement, we discuss the importance of defining how confidential information will be handled before the coaching process starts: once the process begins, that agreement must be fully respected. 

Ensuring confidentiality may be the most important aspect of building a relationship based on trust, but there are some other things coaches and those being coached can and should do to develop and maintain trust in their relationship.

The first of these is for coaches to do what they say they will do, by arriving at face-to-face appointments on time, or calling at exactly the designated time; by noting agreed-on follow up items, such as reports or reading material, and providing them promptly; by offering prompt feedback; and by living up to their word in all of the ways dictated by the coaching session.  Modeling trustworthy behavior positions the coach to hold the client accountable for being on time for coaching sessions, rescheduling sessions, if necessary, well in advance; and doing their “homework” so they are fully prepared before every coaching session.

Trust is also built by active listening.  Coaches need to make an active effort to hear and understand what their clients are saying—not only the words, but also the whole message those being coached are trying to impart.  That means paying careful attention at all times; avoiding distractions, noticing body language, emotions, and context. Asking questions, or summarizing what’s been said, is another way in which coaches demonstrate they are fully involved in the conversation.

Finally, coachees need to trust that their coach supports them without judging them.  Great coaches become partners with those they coach—helping them achieve their personal and professional goals, increasing their confidence and self-awareness, and improving their leadership skills.  They use all their coaching tools to get those they coach to take action themselves to improve their performance.  Without a foundation of trust, the relationship will not reach the level of partnership needed to achieve transformational results.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Establishing the Coaching Agreement


by Seth Sinclair

In previous posts, we’ve discussed the qualifications of coaches and explained how to find a coach that’s right for you and for your organization.  Once you’ve found your coach, it’s time for one of the most important parts of the entire coaching process—establishing a coaching agreement.

The coaching agreement is basically the process through which the relationship between a coach and client is designed and planned.  According to Mary Beth O’Neill, author of “Executive Coaching With Backbone and Heart,” the conversation that precedes drawing up such an agreement allows coaches and clients to “establish the goals and parameters for the coaching relationship and set expectations that drive the remaining phases.”

Working through a coaching agreement offers an opportunity to set a foundation for success by addressing several critical factors early in the relationship:

·      Goals – This conversation is an initial opportunity to lay out personal, professional, and organizational goals for the coaching engagement.  The goals may be focused on specific leadership competencies or behaviors as well as organizational outcomes.  While the goals can be dynamic and may be further refined through assessments or subsequent development plans, it is important to start with a baseline from which to work and measure.

·      Process – If the client is new to coaching, the coach should provide an overview of how coaching works, what to expect in coaching sessions, and the ways they client can anticipate learning from the experience.  This is also an opportunity to identify and agree upon what will remain outside of the coaching relationship.   Finally, the coach can describe any assessments or evaluations included in the scope of the engagement.

·      Ownership and Commitment – Building on the discussion about the coaching process, this is an opportunity to further expand upon into the roles in the coaching relationship.  More specifically, it is important for the coachee to acknowledge that he or she is ultimately responsible for staying engaged with the program; taking responsibility for follow-up, and testing new behaviors.  In other words, the client has to be willing to do the hard work that may be needed to accomplish his or her goals with the coach serving as a trusted partner.  O’Neill describes this as the client’s ability “to own his part of the issue,” and the ability of a client to understand that he or she may be part of the problem is critical to the success of any coaching program. 

·      Trust and Confidentiality – At this stage, important building blocks for the entire coaching process begin to take shape, such as establishing trust, communicating effectively, and the ability to speak plainly to each other.  The agreement conversation can accelerate this by address expectations regarding confidentiality (link to post on Trust) and other communication norms for the engagement. 

·      Logistics – This is also an opportunity to address the way in which coaching sessions will be conducted (face-to-face, by phone, or in other ways); the number of coaching sessions that will be accomplished, and the intervals between each session; the availability of the coach to the client in between scheduled sessions, and agreed to procedures for rescheduling. 

Some coaching agreements are for larger groups, or even for entire organizations: if this is the case, the contract should spell out what the organization hopes to accomplish, and what senior leadership will do to support the coaching process.  It is also important to note that the agreement may be supplemented with a separate coaching contract to address fees for services and assessments as well as any other terms for review and acknowledgement.

Whether the agreement is for an individual or group, it should explain the process that will be followed, and what the coach will focus on in working with the client or clients.  Some coaches even put their philosophy of coaching in the document.  Agreements built in this manner will increase the probability of success for the coaching relationship.