Practicing Direct Communication

by Seth Sinclair

Direct communication is a skill all good coaches must acquire and use.  Unfortunately, it’s also a skill that’s difficult to define.  According to the International Coaching Federation, direct communication is “the ability to communicate effectively during coaching sessions, and to use language that has the greatest positive impact.”

There are many ways to practice direct communication. In our posts on coaching presence, powerful questions, and developing trust, we’ve discussed some of them.  At the most basic levels, practicing direct communication means speaking plainly, confidently, and honestly. 

However, at the levels where it is most impactful in coaching, direct communication is about reframing and using metaphors to create new perspective for the client.  Finally, it can simply mean being clear when giving instructions or asking the coachee to take action. 

A coach should be able to speak plainly to a coachee, in a way others may avoid-and a coach/coachee relationship should develop into one that allows this level of communication all of the time.  This type of communication should be “clear, articulate, and direct” but also appropriate and respectful. 

In the example of a coach debriefing a coachee on difficult feedback received from a 360-degree assessment, the coach might say, “your colleagues are not responding to your communication style.”  This approach requires confidence and a strong presence, but is more in service of the client than avoiding or minimizing the feedback.  A coach can foster this level of communication by setting expectations early in the relationship and checking-in regularly to assess the client’s comfort level. 

Reframing, or looking at a problem or situation from a different perspective, is a simple but essential technique used to generate new ideas and encourage creative thinking.  This is especially useful when a client is “stuck” with a problem and feels he or she has exhausted all of his or her options. 

For example, a coach might ask “What opportunities might someone else see in this?” or “If you could re-write the rules, how might this unfold?” or “What is one small step you might take?”  Even if the client isn’t able to immediately solve the problem, reframing may assist them in managing or accepting the problem and reducing its emotional impact. 

The use of metaphors and analogies offer another method to increase insight and understanding.  The right metaphor can bring home a critical point and add perspective.  For example, a leader might compare his or her leadership style to the role of a military general.  Through additional questioning and exploration of the metaphor as it applies to current leadership challenges, the leader realizes that some aspects of this style may not be effective.  When asked to further contrast this style with the metaphor of leading as a conductor of an orchestra, the client may identify new behaviors to consider and test.

Direct communication, along with powerful questioning and active listening, are the main tools of an effective coach.  Skillful use of these techniques will maximize the value and positive impact of the coaching relationship for the client.

What are powerful questions?

by Seth Sinclair

In previous posts, we’ve talked about the importance of good listening, and offered suggestions on how to improve your ability to perform this vital coaching skill.  A closely related and equally important skill is the art of asking questions.

What types of questions are most impactful in coaching?  Questions that make the person who is required to answer them think and reflect before responding.  Questions that clarify thought processes, and make it difficult to evade the truth.  Questions that change listeners’ perspective, and give them the opportunity to develop new insights. 

Coaches call these kinds of questions powerful questions.  Powerful questions are at the heart of any good coaching relationship.  They are usually open-ended and well timed, encouraging deeper thinking, creativity, and new possibilities

How important is this to you? What do you really need to accomplish your goals? What’s stopping you?  Used at the right point in a conversation, these questions have the power to reveal new perspectives, and sometimes envision a new way to move forward and take action.

Albert Einstein once said, “no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” Powerful questions are a valuable tool to change people’s understandings of the way things are, to look at things in a new light, and to find different ways to solve the personal and professional problems they face.

A coach can begin a session with a powerful question.  Something simple like “what do you want to work on today?” or “what do you hope to achieve by the end of our conversation” sets the stage for a productive discussion by reminding a client that he or she has important responsibilities in the coaching process.

These powerful questions get people’s attention.  To hold their attention, coaches sprinkle their sessions with questions that pose challenges.  “What would happen if you did this in a different way?” sometimes means challenging the way things always have been done.  “What are you afraid of?” helps people confront their fears, and their situation, head-on. “What do you want your legacy to be?” encourages them to take the long view of their situation.

By asking powerful questions, coaches open up new horizons for development and growth.  They hope that, as they think about responses to such questions, clients will step forward and develop their own solutions to their problems, the key to success in any coaching relationship. 

Coaches are not looking for quick, easy, answers—in fact, if a client answers a question right away, it’s likely that the question wasn’t a powerful question at all!  Silence, thought, and a measured response tells a coach that his or her question has struck home. 

Just one truly powerful question, asked in the right way and at the right time, can change perspectives, careers, businesses, and lives.